Life Path Guide | Spiritual Mentor | Wellness Advocate
I offer individual one-on-one Mentoring Sessions where we work together in the areas of Women's Health, Addiction in the family, Grief and Loss, Autoimmune Disorders, and Human Design Readings. Sessions can be set up individually, or through a limited number of packages.
GRIEF AND LOSS
Loss is something every single one of us experiences in our being human.
Loss leaves wounds that can go deep. For many, hiding, running from loss, or just trying to cover it up so it goes away, it what feels right in the moment. Others will try and quickly replace what was lost, whether that is a lover, a friend or a job. That new ‘shiny’ things always feel better in the moment, but then the pain returns. Others will turn to alcohol, drugs, eating, gambling, sex or some other choice to just numb everything out, so they do not have to feel the loss.
Yet, the loss does not go away and as long as it is ignored, it will only manifest in another area of your life. If left unhealed, every time you think about it, those feelings continue and will until you let them all come up and really feel them. Until you feel them, it is impossible to grieve them and if you do not grieve, you will experience pain in some way for the rest of your life.
I work with my clients on the steps of grieving and dealing with loss, in a way that allows for time and healing to take place in a natural way.
ADDICTION IN FAMILIES
So often, when we think of addiction, we think only of the person who is drinking, using drugs, gambling, having persistent sexual thoughts or acts, or even shopping- all the things causing havoc in their lives. Yet, it is so much more than that. It affects everyone in their lives. Addiction is about not feeling whole. Parts of life have become fragmented, causing isolation, disconnection, loneliness and being separated from one’s life, their family and their community.
But what about the family members? Often in families dealing with addiction, the primary focus and attention is on the addict herself/himself. And as a result, a lot of damaging patterns get set up unknowingly. Dealing with a person’s addiction requires a different attitude that does not come naturally to many people, and often, addicted people take advantage of this to manipulate family members so they can continue their addiction without interference. Typically family members expend large amounts of money trying to "help" their family member with the addiction, but also time, energy, personal health and happiness as a result. The addict mind is a narcissist mind, and as a result, the addict themselves is looking out only for themselves, and does not see the devastation and destruction they are causing all around them. Imagine the "sex addict" husband, who continues to watch pornography, and when the wife suggests he gets help, he turns it around and blames her, makes it her fault. Claims it is because they "don't have sex enough". Or the husband who has continued affairs, and blames his "addiction", each time begging his wife to "take him back and forgive him". Or the alcoholic parent or child, who continues to drink and create problems in their own life. They can't keep a job. They are barely able to take care of their own children, and they rely on you repeatedly to do the things that are truly their responsibility.
These patterns of addictive abuse end up in boundary-less enabling, which ultimately eats away at your self-esteem, your own life, and your ability to grow into the fullness of who YOU are. Life with an addict becomes all about them, while you get lost in the process. The fact that addiction is rampant, and truly epidemic, indicates that our world needs a soulful answer to why humanity is running away from itself. Why people are turning to addictions to avoid facing their deepest wounds, things like childhood sexual abuse, narcissistic parents, abusive parents, abuse at the hands of uncles, aunts, cousins, teachers, coaches etc... If you take one look at the incomprehensible level of addiction facing people today, that gives you the tip of the iceberg as to what lies beneath in terms of wounds that have CAUSED the addiction. People need to uncover those wounds if they want to even begin truly healing. But my primary focus is on the family members living with and dealing with family members dealing with addiction. YOU need support. YOU need healthy strategies and self-loving boundaries. That is where I come in as your mentor.
Having dealt with several different addictions in my own personal life and family, I know first hand the serious damage that gets created when we are unaware of healthy strategies to implement. I lived it. And thankfully, not only lived it, but was able to completely shift my entire life around once I began to see that I deserve to exist. I deserve to have my own wants, desires, passions, joys, and gifts. Through extensive spiritual and personal work on my own path, I was able to move through all of my old harmful patterns of enabling. I once believed that it was compassionate to repeatedly "forgive". Until I realized that wasn't forgiveness. Forgiveness is in the heart, abuse is when you continue to allow yourself to become someone else's excuse for toxic behavior. I used to believe that compassion was answering phone calls in the middle of the night, getting dressed and offering rides, money and "solutions" to yet another disaster. The patterning was so deep and ingrained since my own childhood. I ultimately realized that the enabling was based in my own need to feel needed, validated, with an ability to "help" and "save". It wasn't until I fully cleared that ego-based mindset that I released my attachment to someone else's choices. I am able to guide you with love and compassion through your own journey to find your center, your boundaries, and to help you implement (at your own pace) life-changing strategies and principles that will bring you peace like you may not have known in a long time.
I am truly passionate about this aspect of my work as in my former practice as a licensed professional clinical counselor I saw all too often the absolute devastation that addiction has on families. In fact, one reason I knew I was called to move into spiritual soul work, versus the "mind" work of counseling, is because in counseling, there is rarely, if ever, any real change. The mind continues to ruminate about issues and pain and suffering, all the while actually reinforcing that suffering. With the spiritual mentoring I now do, I am able to head straight for the healing processes, rather than spend any more time in the mind. Most of my clients have already perfected that part long before coming to see me.
I work with you one on one when you are dealing with family members who face addiction. I create a safe and supportive environment in which to explore the issues at the root cause of the addiction in the first place, and help you understand your role, your boundaries, and ways for you to move into your own healing from the trauma of living with abuse.