Time to Fly


A time to fly

I have had feelings deep within that begin to bubble up and then sink back down for the last few weeks. They have been quite intense this weekend, again. Each step to finding who I AM at my core on this spiritual journey has been an awakening. It is about being “real, authentic, setting boundaries (first you may need to learn what those are), stopping the rescuing, the control, and the stories, the ones that you have been telling for years.” Those stories may go like this, “I am not creative,” “I have always been this way,” “I could never do that,” or “I really want to change, but it just doesn’t happen.” Let it all go…..and allow yourself to soar, to fly, to be YOU.

After a hectic week working my full-time job, preparing and teaching a fun class at a local college, meeting with private clients, running a fantastic group, and ensuring I took care of myself and Remi, I scheduled time in yesterday to just BE. Sitting in silence, mesmerized by the flicker of light from the candle and breathing. Just breathing.

As time went by, a hummingbird came in. I immediately felt the joy in my being. I have had an affinity for this tiny bird for many years, and my home has them scattered throughout, including 3 on my altar. She began fluttering in front of me, chirping away. At first, I found myself trying to decipher her message with my mind (lol) which is not the way to hear this message. As she continued to chirp, I felt a lightness taking over my being, ah- a reminder to enjoy all that shows up in my life, to express love more fully in my day. As she continued to flutter around in all directions, I said a huge thank you to her for the gentle reminder that while I am being adaptable to my surroundings, increasing my time for play and creativity are essential now.

In my journal the last few weeks, I have written many times, that I have felt like it is time to fly. What that meant for sure, I had no idea, it has just been an intense feeling. As clarity hadn’t shown up, I was being patient, jotting down new ideas, throwing out ones that no longer fit, stepping out of my comfort zone here and there and being mindful of being present to each moment.

Hummingbird was encouraging me to enjoy the simple pleasures before me; Remi is feeling stronger each day and his antics in the snow make me laugh, taking in the beauty around me each day, realizing there is always something to appreciate in winter if I allow myself to move past the story of “I hate winter.” I do not hate winter, I just like temperatures above 70. Winter here in Santa Fe is so essential to ease the drought of the summer months. I see value in winter and am becoming more comfortable with it. Hummingbird has shown me that this is part of nature’s sweetness and I am able to enjoy its beauty and its gifts.

This little visit was so welcomed. Hummingbird encouraged me to open up, be more loving to myself and those around me, and to play and have fun. In the end, as she was going in circles, I watcher her and caught her meaning of going around and around with specific themes in my life. Aha, time to let them go, create a new path and be ready, as it is really…..

Time to fly.