The past few weeks have been filled with joy, blessings, and a lot of excitement. It all began with a visit from my son, Steve whom I hadn’t seen in about a year. I was excited to see him as well as to show him around the city of Santa Fe, the place I currently call home. It didn’t take long for him to be in awe of the beauty that I cherish each day. There was not a day during his visit that I didn’t hear, “I really like it here.” Yes, this city has a way of captivating you.
I enjoyed showing him what I love about the city: the mountains, the culture, the food, the people, and where I work. We shared a beautiful morning in the mountains, amazing food from a few of my favorite restaurants and a couple of new ones, had the most amazing time at Meow Wolf, which allowed us both to be in awe of all the creativity, and an opportunity to be silly, child-like; as we crawled around on our hand and knees, sliding down tunnels, walking into dark openings that you had no idea where they were going . Definitely, a new me has emerged, and it was amazing to realize I can still be child-like and just have fun. These experiences stirred a lot and left me remembering dreams from long ago.
While Steve’s visit was a catalyst in reopening the box of long lost dreams, a lot more came through in a session with my teacher and friend, Liana Shanti. At the beginning of the session, I shared with her how I continued to struggle with being creative. I saw creativity as those I see dancing, making music, creating art, jewelry, etc. While I have tried many of those in the past couple of years, creative juices have not been flowing. Liana suggested (as she had before, creativity can mean many things). So much came through during this session. Liana was able to guide me to see that I was placing a lot of my time and energy in areas that there were lowering my vibration, keeping me focused on aspects in my life that had little to do with my purpose for being here. Whew! What a lesson that was. In hearing and seeing what she was saying, a light came on and I was able to see so much about gifts that have been attempting to surface for many years, that were not able to be fully seen because of where my attention was being placed.
As we continued on, I was able to share with her the aspects of my work with students and adults that are exciting, bring me joy and have led to amazing changes in those I have been working with. Imagine my surprise when she said- That is your creativity.” These things are tied to your passion and purpose. At that moment, there was a lightness, a sense of wonderment as I was able to look back and see throughout my life, where these gifts had been showing up.
It is such a gift to have teachers/mirrors in my life that show me what I am clearly able to see in others, but not necessarily in myself. A huge thank you to both Steve and Liana.
After that conversation, I let everything settle for a couple of days. I felt so fortunate that my two biggest teachers showed me so much at the same time. Through Steve, I was able to see how fears had held me back in so many areas of my life. In hearing his fears about possibilities, options, changes for his life, I was triggered. Ut-oh was my response. It was time for me to go deeper into those fears and connect with my inner child and the beliefs that were holding me back or discouraging me.
“The great challenges of life appear to us when, and only when, we have everything we need to survive and heal from the experience.” Greg Braden
The challenges were recognized, faced, felt and surrendered. It was such a gift to be able to move through the obstacles quickly. I began dreaming big, writing out every detail, knowing that the only person who would limit or discourage me would be myself and that would only take me further from my path. Focus has always come easily to me, except with the dreaming of my life. Old patterns and self-sabotage would creep in and my focus would go to aspects that were not important or I was fearful of. I would then spin out of control and focus on one of the fears or situations, worried, praying, and fearing my dream would never happen and guess what, it didn’t. Why? Because I focused on the fear and not the dream.
It was time to shuffle things up. The dream was on paper but now it needed a plan. Today, using the energy of the New Moon/Eclipse and the New Moon Manifesting Program (www.lianashanti.com), I have a plan, tools, and people who will hold me accountable to get me from here to there.
Time to move dreams into reality. So excited for 2019.